Aggressive Vulnerability

Last year was amazing. I lived through a terrible car crash, lost my cat and two grandparents. I met the love of my life. I learned how to embrace compassion. I left a job of four years for an exciting opportunity. I published fifty episodes of a podcast. And I made a ton of friends.

Now, I am in emotional free fall. My exciting opportunity turned out to be a disaster. I may lose the love of my life due to the ensuing drama. I’m struggling just to pay for basic needs. And now, I am facing unpaid wages from both my old job and the one I just left. To say I’ve made mistakes would be a vast understatement.

Sure, I could be down about it. I could be wasted in a bar right now, drowning my sorrows. I could be complaining to everyone I know about my misery. Instead, I choose to face my life with eyes and arms wide open. I own every mistake I make. I wear them like badges on my vest to remind myself how much I’ve grown in the face of all this.

I could be immature and blame others for my plight. I could play the victim card and hope to garner your pity. No, tonight I write this as an expression of strength and resilience. These are the trials we face on the road to enlightenment. I have stood on the soapbox of hubris. I have picked my teeth out of the dirt. I’ve pulled arrows from my back and cold daggers from my heart. Through it all, I never lost sight of that which is most sacred to me.

I will never stop loving, never stop helping, never stop trying to make this life mean something. There is no armor to protect me from this unforgiving world. So I welcome all the world has to offer. If that means bleeding, I gladly give my blood as payment for personal growth.

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