We’ve all felt it. We hear about it our whole lives. The saying goes “we always want what we can’t have.” There are plenty of other expressions we use to describe the feeling. Something seems amazing until we have it. Then we lose interest. That is until we learn about value. It’s easier to talk about this sort if thing with an example.
Think of your favorite shoes. When you saw them in the store, you probably thought they were amazing, but too expensive. You rationalized buying them because you love yourself and deserve nice things. Maybe you compromised your budget plans and added some debt, an investment in your happiness. You wore them out of the store and then every day for the next month. You didn’t take them home and put them on a shelf as a trophy. You wanted them long after you felt that you couldn’t have them. You mourn their loss when they die. But shoes are simple. Low maintenance.
Think of your dog. You love your dog. Since the day you met him, he is your amazing, silly, often sloppy companion. Before he was yours, you probably went through a set of concerns. You weren’t sure you were ready for the commitment. You weren’t excited about the prospect of a lifetime cleaning up after him. Still, you rationalized the decision to make him yours because of his perceived value. You didn’t resent him five years later when he ate your favorite shoes. You didn’t stop caring for him at any of the times if was inconvenient to have him. You don’t think of replacing him with another dog.
If you find yourself feeling unsatisfied with the things you have, it’s not because you saw some prettier shoes or a sillier dog. It’s deeper than that. When you want things you can’t have, that is the first warning sign of a crisis of self. If you stop wanting something, it’s because your perception of value changed. If you feel annoyed, remember patience and tolerance. If you feel frustrated, remember openness and communication. If you feel hurt, remember vulnerability and compassion.
You would never blame your dog for making you clean up its mess. Own your choices, focus on value, and remember why the things you’ve chosen for yourself are amazing. If you find yourself thinking they aren’t so amazing, ask yourself if they changed or if you did.